


Measure of a man

by ordika



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Love Confessions, its a little bad, its a little sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-08
Updated: 2016-09-08
Packaged: 2018-08-13 21:46:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,216
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7987351
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ordika/pseuds/ordika
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Finn got himself kidnapped, and somehow dragged Poe along with him. Now they’re in a small cabin. He’s really sorry, and trying to convince Poe, who seems upset. He starts to talk about his life to shut Finn up. Then it's Finn's turn.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Measure of a man

_Our tripping tongues take time to moan_

_The spells we used to speak_

 

“Shit, Poe, I really am sorry,” Finn said, for at least the thousandth time.

They were in a small cabin-like thing on a small, far-off planet. Their only aim had been to drop off a few Resistance fighters who’d been dying to visit their homeland. Poe was the pilot and Finn was the one providing company.

Then he’d got lost. Because of course he would. When Poe’d gone to look for him, he’d already got himself into trouble. It still wasn’t clear for the pilot what he did exactly, but he didn’t exactly care, either. They were stuck on a little, barely inhabited planet with a perfectly functioning ship only a few miles away. The only thing they had to do was escape from captivity.

Easier said than done, Poe thought, half-listening to what Finn was saying.

“You should have just waited at the ship,” the soldier went on. “Then maybe left me. I can take care of myself… well, mostly, anyways… You really should have just went back to the base. Or at least the ship. What if I’d run off? Then you’d-“

“Okay, stop that.”

He didn’t say anything else, but even that was enough to shut Finn up. He was staring at him wth interest sparkling in his eyes. The room was small and they were rather close. They were seated facing each other, their hands bound behind their bodies, their backs against cold walls.

Poe was gazing back at Finn, trying to find his outlines in the dim light. This man… he was something of a mystery to him, even now, after months of friendship (and hardship as well). Why did he leave the First Order? Why not run? Why keep fighting? Surely he wanted a normal life. Or did he?

He’d once told him that he had no idea who his parents were. His only friends had been his fellow stormtroopers, and even they weren’t that close. Even this was said as an excuse, meant to tell Poe why he was a little private.

Well, now they had plenty of time to share.

“My mum was an X-wing pilot,” he began, just to say something. “She was maybe the best there was. She fought with the Rebellion, and she even met Luke Skywalker. I was able to have a good childhood mostly because of her.” He stopped to look at Finn, only to find him watching intently. He cleared his throat and continued, growing a little shy all of a sudden. “I grew up on Yavin. It’s a really beautiful place, I really love it. I haven’t been there in, wow… 2, maybe 3 years? I can’t even remember. You ever been?”

“I haven’t really been anywhere before the Resistance.”

Poe shrugged understandingly.

“You should go there sometime. It’s definitely worth it. A little like Tokodana. Maybe not that green, but still.”

“Okay.”

“I remember the first time I was allowed to sit in her fighter. I couldn’t have been older than three, but I’d been asking forever and she just had to let me do it. It’s a rather foggy memory, all that I can remember is the console, and how big it all seemed. I had to sit in her lap to be able to see out of the cockpit.”

Finn was definitely smiling now. So was Poe.

“Do you want to learn? To fly, I mean.”

He shrugged.

“Well, I’m not sure. I mean, I’ve only seen you, Rey and Han fly. I’m not sure I could ever compete with that. And I really don’t like being bad at something.”

Which is why you’re not a stormtrooper anymore, Poe thought.

“You shoot real good,” he said instead.

“Well, you kinda have to, when you’re what I am.”

“And what exactly are you?”

“A stormtrooper.”

Poe sighed.

“If you were, I’d have to shoot you. And I wouldn’t even feel bad about it.”

“That’s not how-“

“Yup. It is exactly how.” He leaned forward, closer to Finn, looking him straight in the eye. “You’re not a stormtrooper anymore, you hear me? You’re one of us. A Resistance fighter.”

Finn looked surprised. But in a good way.

“Thanks. I guess.”

Poe leaned back against the wall, the cold hitting him again.

“No problem, buddy. So tell me something.”

Finn scrunched up his face.

“Like what?”

“Well, you don’t know your family, and I don’t exactly want to hear about the First Order right now, so why don’t you talk about something you love? Something you like to remember?”

He thought for a moment.

“Well, I really liked getting the hell off of that Star Destroyer, but you already know that story, so-“

“Well, I haven’t heard all of it yet. From you, anyway.”

That surprise again.

“Okay. So I got into a settlement. Everyone was incredibly rude, or they didn’t understand a word of Basic. They just kept telling me off in their weird alien languages. All I wanted was water. And when I finally get to drink, I see this girl being attacked and try to help. Turns out,” he smiled at the recollection “she didn’t need saving. Then she attacked me.”

“I don’t get this part of the story. Why would she attack you?”

“Well, apparently she speaks droid, and BB-8 told her that I was wearing your jacket.”

“Oh yeah, right. Go on.”

“So she attacked me and your droid buddy tased me. Then I tell her I’m with the Resistance. I still don’t really know why I lied, I just…” he trailed off. Then he shrugged. “I guess I wanted to be someone she could admire like that.”

Poe couldn’t help the smile that crept onto his face.

“And man, you should have seen her fly! The Falcon was like a living, breathing thing. It was amazing. And she said she hadn’t even flown the ship before! And now this whole Jedi-stuff… I don’t know how I could keep up with her.” After a long pause, he added: “I’m just a stormtrooper.”

Then he fell silent, lost in thought.

“Hey, Finn. You’re not a Stormtrooper anymore. You are a Resistance fighter, remember? We agreed about ten minutes ago. You are someone she can admire.” Barely audibly, he said “Not just her, by the way.”

He was looking intently into his eyes, about to say something important, looking for the right words.

“Thank you, Poe. Really. For everything. I needed you to help me get away from my old life and to become comfortable in this new one. I’m not sure I’ve said this before. But I do need you.” He took a shaky breath. “And I do love her.”

It hurt Poe. Of course it did. And Finn knew it too, but he had to say it. Poe wasn’t sure whether he was in love, but now at least he found out what Finn felt. It made him feel a little better.

“Well, I’m here for you. Okay, if you continue to get yourself kidnapped this often, then I might change my mind.”

Finn smiled. It was a weak smile, just as much as Poe’s joke was.

It was a start.

“I’m really sorry about that. Really I am. I didn’t mean to…”

**Author's Note:**

> okay, im still not sure what this is about, or if it's any good, so please let me know  
> also i hope someone actually likes it


End file.
